Steven. I miss you and wish you were here. I haven't been to your page in a long time. My brother, Bobby, died on August 7th. It has been absolute hell and more than I ever thought an individual could go through. I miss him so much every day and just don't understand. I feel like I should have been able to do something to prevent this from happening but I couldn't. I hope that you two are together chillin right now. Look after him for me, alright? I miss you and with you were here to talk to or go hang out with. Your death has haunted me every day since it happened because I saw you at your worst and was with you from the time it happened until the time we got you to OHSU and we were still at the hospital cleaning the ambulance when we were informed you were pronounced dead. That was really hard and has been the hardest thing I have ever seen or done until my brother, Bobby, was found unconsious. Just like with you I did everything I could to help him. I evaluated him, did CPR, gave him rescue breaths without a mask while blood was coming from his mouth. While the images in my head of you still bother me, the images of Bobby bother me even more. I now have a deeper unstanding of your mother's sorrow. While I will never fully understand the pain that is caused by a mother losing a son, I know what losing a brother that I had custody of feels like and it hurts bad. I miss you man. I wish you were here really bad. Give Bobby a hug for me!
Carrie
Re: Happy 24th Birthday My Dear Son / Lori Miller (Mom) Dear Steven, July 27, 2008On August 31, 2008 you would have been 24 years old, but now you are forever 21. The days drag by with constant thoughts of you. What would you be doing if you were still with us? Would you be married, in school or would you have your own business, which was a dream you had and always talked about it! All of the should have, would haves, dreams and wishes you had were buried with you! There is not a moment of any day that goes by that I don’t think of you and wish you were here with us. To hear your laughter, see your smile, hear your smart remarks and then telling your friends “it’s ok, my mom knows I am just joking with her!” You know I love you and will always be here for you. I miss your 2am calls just to talk; I miss the sound of your car and stereo when you would come home. And me worrying about the neighbors and them complaining about the noise. Forever 21 your whole life ahead, why my son did this happen? I guess I will never know. If I pursue this, it still won’t bring you back. So I will let you rest and hope that the individuals that were there that night are racked with guilt. I know that I shouldn’t feel this way, but you are my son and I know that more happened that night that we know. I just feel it in my heart. Others have gone on with their lives, I can’t. Part of my heart has been ripped away. Oh my son, why, why, why? I miss you so and I can’t get you back! Tears fall when I least expect them and I hate it! I hate the pain and I hate the loss! I miss you so terribly much! Why did you have to die! I would not wish this feeling on my worst enemy! What keeps me going is your dad, your brother, Taylor and your 3 ½ month old little niece Melina. Also my son, keeping your web sites help me keep your memory alive. Which I never want to fade or disappear. My online friends, my grief groups and local friends also have helped me make it during the times, that I just don’t think I can take the pain anymore. My special online friend DJ has been such a good friend to me and also has been the one to make a couple of your sites and help me with the ones that I work on, she is always here to help me. Steven my dear since you passed away my life has changed. Friends have gone that I thought would be around for the long haul. Life is just not the same, I cry so much more, I try and put on a happy face, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. I love and miss you so very much my son! Happy Birthday in Heaven my son! Remember I love you so very much! Your father and brother love you so very much! We will never forget you! Lovingly Forever, Mom
Living With The Pain / Donna Berg, Aaron's Mom (Connected by Angels )
Dear Lori,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I know these words are so inadequate, but they are very sincere because I know the pain and the longing that you feel.
It's been five years since I received the phone call that Aaron had been shot, and even now it seems like yesterday. Some days I can't bear to look at his picture because I don't want to accept that it's all that is left of him. I cherish his memory and the years we spent together, but I want more than just memories...I want Aaron. The pain in my heart never goes away, it's there to remind me that my beautiful son lived, loved and touched the lives of so many and that his life matterd to someone. Because he lives in my heart he will never disappear from this earth as long as I live.
Lori I will keep you and your precious Steven in my heart and in my thoughts. He shares the name of my eldest son (Steven Patrick). Aaron was the baby of the family and has another brother named Rob. My love to you and your family...Donna
Re: Happy 24th Birthday my Son / Lori Miller (Mom)
Dearest Steven,
It is almost your 24th birthday! I miss you so very much my son! There are days that I just don't think I can go on anymore. I miss you so much! It just isn't the same here without you!
I Love you so much Steven!
Love Mom
Happy 4th July Dear Steven / Denise Kneale (angel friends )
Happy 4th July Steven, have a wonderful time celebrating with all our Angels and once again lighting up the skies with your antics. Please leave small signs for your dear family of your love, peace and strength.
Dear Mom, Remember that I am always close to you and my precious family, leaving small signs of my love, peace and strength for you all...Love never dies xxx
Thought you would like these song lyrics of Lost by Michael Buble. I had it playing on James' site a while back and felt that our Angels wrote it for us xxx
"Lost"
I can't believe it's over I watched the whole thing fall And I never saw the writing that was on the wall If I'd only knew The days were slipping past That the good things never last That you were crying
Summer turned to winter And the snow it turned to rain And the rain turned into tears upon your face I hardly recognized the girl you are today And god I hope it's not too late It's not too late 'Cause you are not alone I'm always there with you And we'll get lost together Till the light comes pouring through 'Cause when you feel like you're done And the darkness has won Babe, you're not lost When your worlds crashing down And you can't bear the thought I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy It can tear your soul apart It can make you feel like you've gone crazy But you're not Things have seem to changed There's one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone And I am there with you And we'll get lost together Till the light comes pouring through 'Cause when you feel like you're done And the darkness has won Babe, you're not lost When the worlds crashing down And you can not bear the cross I said, baby, you're not lost I said, baby, you're not lost I said, baby, you're not lost I said, baby, you're not lost
(((Lori)))
A good book to read: Love Never Dies by Sandy Goodman...True story of a mother's journey from loss to love xx
Steven Patrick Miller.... / Georgie-Holly Clarke Mum
For your angel date Steven / Jo-Ann Pacenta Mom Of Angel Lauren (Connected by angels )
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers / Reeny Fitzer (none)
Dearest lori Please know you are as always in my thoughts and prayers i will have a candle Lit forAngel Steven on the 31st. .I prayer for peace for you on this day .With calm assureance that Steven is at home with God and someday you and he as well as All the angels and me will Meet again on the other side of the Rainbow .
Tributes and Condolences
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